Yesterday marked one year of living with my boyfriend in our *still new to us* home. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year. We’ve done so much over the last year to make it our home, and it’s really coming together. There are still many more projects to go, and I will share some recent ones on the blog soon. But until then, here are 10 things I’ve learned after a year of living with my best friend.
1. No matter how much time you spent together before, moving in together is very different and requires getting used to. He learned that I’m really cranky after work. I learned that if I ever thought I was a neat freak, he’s way crazier than I am.
2. Everything you think is the right way to do things/organize things, he will think is the wrong way. One week into moving in, I found the kitchen completely reorganized. In what was “a more logical way.” Some things I changed back, but some things were in fact “more logical.” Oh the beauty of compromise.
3. Try not to obsess over the little things. This is a hard one. It drives me nuts that he doesn’t rinse out the sponge after washing the dishes, causing it to stink and mold, but I need to focus on the fact that he did in fact wash the dishes, and probably the oven too. He hates that I take the full trash bag out of the bin, and leave it in the house, instead of taking it outside immediately. It’s cold out, and putting it by the door makes it convenient for the next person leaving to take it out.
4. Arguing about who cleans more replaces your weekly argument about what to do on a Friday night. If you want the debatable “truth,” I do the daily maintenance cleaning, he does the biweekly deep cleaning. Though we both contribute to both as well. That’s a fair trade in my opinion.
5. You’ll never convince him to love all vegetables more than meat. Compromising on meals without cooking two dinners has been the most challenging part of living together. After a year I have learned what meals work, and what meals definitely don’t. I’m still trying to find more that meet both of our needs.
6. Even if you have 3 TVs, it’s important to compromise on TV shows and watch the same TV together. I watch sports now, and he watches the Bachelor. It’s nice to have that time on weeknights to relax, but yet still spend time together without turning into roommates in separate rooms of the house.
7. Talk about finances openly. Discussions about setting priorities, savings goals, splitting costs, and consolidating finances that can help cut costs are necessary. Many couples biggest problems revolve around finances, so figuring out how you and your partner approach money, spending, and saving and discussing it openly is an important step.
8. There’s nothing better than facing day-to-day situations as a team. Whoever happens to work late, always comes home to a hot meal waiting for them.
9. Projects around the house replace going out on weekends. Our Saturdays consist of going to Home Depot or Ikea and buying plants, and planning how we want to upgrade our kitchen. Working on our home has been such a fun, bonding activity for us, and I don’t mind it being the main weekend plan in many cases.
10. Maintain your own hobbies and interests. At first I couldn’t understand why A.K. didn’t want to get a gym membership with me. But now I enjoy the gym as my alone time. And we still find other ways to be active together by jogging or taking walks, without forcing him to love the gym.
What were the biggest things you learned from moving in together?